Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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