so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
