I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
