He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
