I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
