D3 body, D1 cock
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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