Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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