i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
