just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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