Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
