is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
