wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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