you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
