16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
