I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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