Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Randomize
