I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
