Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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