what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize