Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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