Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
