Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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