My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
