Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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