While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize