I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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