I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
