I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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