you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
