Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
