He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
