"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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