i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
