he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
