I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
