GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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