Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
