I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
