Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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