Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
