Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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