There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
