YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
