I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
