I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
