I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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