i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
