I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
