i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
