I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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