Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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