Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
