I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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