I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
