btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
