Its about making memories worth repressing
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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