yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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