He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
