I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
