I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
