sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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