google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize