yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
