Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
