dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
