you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Everything about him screamed your future.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
